It feels like centuries have passed since I've updated my blog. Actually it has only been 7 months (which is quite long). There have been so many major changes in my life that I feel like I can't express it all in just one entry. For starters, I'm no longer in Seattle but Minneapolis, Minnesota and I'm officially a Mechanical Engineering student of University of Minnesota! Since I'm no longer in Seattle, I guess I should do some changes to my blog layout and background picture when I get a good skyline photo of downtown Minneapolis. After being stranded in the states for two years (stranded is a bit of an exaggeration) I finally went home to Indonesia this summer break. I finished all of my paperwork during the summer and I've completed my transfer to the UofM. Having the chance to finally see my family and old friends was really wonderful.
It's almost stupidly obvious that changes happen all the time, even at home, but I can't help the fact that it still surprised me. My younger brother finally caught up and is taller than me. His voice wasn't the high pitched kiddish voice I knew for so long. It took a while to get used to the fact that he almost sounds like my Dad. Most of my young cousins aren't kids anymore. They're teenagers! Since I haven't changed much physically since high school (still short n curly), the flow of time doesn't seem as shocking as seeing a child suddenly becoming an adolescent. The years that have passed didn't really sink in until then. Time really did go by. Oh... but thankfully my parents still look somewhat the same (but my Dad finally dyed his hair black because he has too much white hair now).
My old friends from middle school and high school are also still somewhat the same. Different hairstyles or look but still essentially the same people I knew from back then. Most of them have been scattered in various places around the world and it was nice to see them all back in the tiny (but densely populated) town of Bandung. The best kind of friends you can have around are the kinds whom you can be brutally honest with and still have a fun time joking around or talking about the seemingly insignificant, stupid and comedic things in life. I'm truly grateful that I'm surrounded by these kind of people as friends. No matter how much our lifestyle will change, I think we'll always be able to connect as long as we have the same sense of humor. Tanpa basa basi.
Sadly, this summer was also a summer of departure. One of my friend from high school passed away from cancer not long after I arrived in Indonesia. I never got the chance to see him face to face since I left for America and by the time I finally came home, he was gone for good, permanently from this world. Because of this, at times it still feels a bit unreal. I remember him as the class clown, the funny guy who could cause your stomach to ache from laughter with the right punchline. With the combination of the right people or atmosphere, you're bound to have a fun time with him. He definitely had his inner demons, as we all do, and I knew he went through lots of changes and struggle over the years, but nevertheless, he was essentially still the same person, a really good guy, and a good friend. There were so many things I wanted to say to him and ask him but I didn't have the guts to do so when I found out he was sick. For that, I am truly ashamed of myself and I wish I could apologize for. Now I just regret never having those conversations with him or be more of a support for him during those hard times. I don't understand what I was afraid of because now all I can do is regret. I can never redo things that have passed and there's no point in continuing to regret.
He will be truly missed. These days, whenever we talk about him, we always remember the good old days because most of the time I've spent with him were fun. They were hilarious, stupid, sometimes awkward but memorable moments in my life. I'm thankful to him because he made part of my life more colorful. I was probably just a small part of his life but I hope I added some kind of color to his as well.
I've made lots of new friends here in Minneapolis. I made quite a few really good friends in Seattle as well. I have good friends from Bandung too. I hope that these are the people whom I'd invite to my wedding someday in the future if I ever find that right person for me. We'd have a blast, have lots of good laughs, relive those stupid moments when we were younger and they'd embarrass me in front of my husband-to-be and the rest of my guest by exposing those stupid moments. Still brutally honest with each other. Now I just realize, good friends aren't just the ones you can be brutally honest with only during the good times but bad times as well. It should work both ways and nobody should only be at the giving or receiving end. I hope I'm not doing a bad job at staying in touch with them because friends and family are important in life. Life would be empty and lonely if you don't make those connections.
Thank you to all of my friends and family for making my life more colorful.
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